How to Get Out of the Comparison Trap
Social media. *sigh* An oversaturated wonderland of information, people and products. It can provide much needed connection to like minded individuals — running buddies, fitness accountability partners, career mentors, or best friends. It can be a place to turn to for support you might not have elsewhere in your life.
However among all the good, there is also the bad. It can be a minefield of bullying, falsely depicted lives, lies and deceit that must be carefully navigated.
To be completely transparent - saying I've been having a hard time lately would be an understatement. I am overwhelmed with the feeling that I have to be perfect all the time. I downplay my own accomplishments when in reality they are pretty big and worth celebrating. I see myself through the lens of the people who I aspire to be.
So while I'm not anywhere near perfect, these are some of the things I am focusing on to help myself get out of the comparison trap.
Reflect on your accomplishments. Some weeks it's a struggle to do my 9-5 job, maintain a consistent blog schedule and meet deadlines for all the side projects I keep signing myself up for. All while remembering to eat and sleep! When I see on paper everything I've accomplished in the past week or month, it gives me perspective on my own life. You can't compare your beginning to someone else's middle.
Make new goals. So you see someone run a fast 5k and you want to be that fast too. Great! There is nothing wrong with being inspired with someone else - use that as motivation to set a new goal for yourself. Write it down and make it realistic to you. What are the steps you will need to get there? Who can you enlist to help you along the way? Before you know it, you'll be so excited about what you need to work on you won't be worried about anyone else.
Cheer on someone else. It happens, you get caught up in the comparison and wonder why you should even bother if you can't be perfect. What we forget is those seemingly "perfect" people are people too. Maybe they need some support, maybe they are doubting themselves. I remember why I got into social in the first place. Not to compare but to connect and learn. Go give someone an awesome compliment or follow someone who posts great workout routines.
Get to work on Y-O-U. What's that saying? "I'm too busy watering my own grass to notice if yours is greener." It's hard to be worried about what other people are doing when you are focused on yourself. It doesn't matter if the goal is fitness, professional, or personal, if you find pangs of jealously pop up, do yourself a favor and put the phone down and go work on yourself. Journal, set goals for the upcoming week or month, dive into a project you keep saying you don't have time for. Do something that you can look back on and say "Yes! I did that!"
UNfollow. At the end of the day if all of the above doesn't do it for you - ask yourself why you have these people in your life. Maybe they are real life friends and maybe they are social media only but if they aren't bringing some benefit into your life it's not good for you.
Sure it's a rough landscape out there but let's take more time to use this space for good and support one another. Lets lift each other up and support each other now more than ever. Because we're all freaking amazing b-a-d a-s-s ladies — and there's room for everyone at the top.
Have you gone through this? Do you have any tips to add that you can share?